So I’ve been working full-time for about 22 months straight with no vacation; and I am weary. Since my last bout with unemployment (pre-pandemic) and its compadres, poverty and stress, I’ve been trudging through a marsh of shit jobs to get my life back on track. Now that I’ve acquired a position that’s more aligned with my skills and abilities, the fatigue from my long journey has finally caught up to me. I have moved beyond tired, passed through exhaustion and settled into weariness.
Unfortunately, my career does not give two shits about that fact and I have to somehow stay alert, calm and ready for anything and everything. Staff member quits without notice? Got it covered. Airline cancels flights at midnight and sells out the hotel at the last minute? Okay, thanks. Director of Operations makes a surprise visit and wants to talk for a few hours? Sure, no problem. Colleagues act like snakes in the grass and want to discredit my name? Fine, bring it on.
I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think they can elevate their status by tearing down mine, nor do I understand why people want to believe that I am a dishonorable person even though all evidence is to the contrary.
Like so many things in America, it’s probably a liability of my race. It’s easier to believe that a black man is dishonest and untrustworthy, regardless of education, appearance or behavior. Folks have been programmed to mistrust me since birth so I don’t know why I am repeatedly surprised when my superiors are swayed by low-rent gossip. Well as the late great DMX once versed,
Same ol’ shit dog just a different day. (It is not a fucking game!) A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. So if it’s fuck me, *****, you know it’s fuck you!
Here we go again.